Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Catching up...
(Finally)

A tantilizing excerpt from Alan Greenspan's autobiography, ghost-written last Thursday by veteran humorist (and apparent country musician?) Rick Moranis.

I got into my car and headed off to grab some java and a few chocolate donuts. I took off my suit jacket and laid it across the back seat. It was far more practical to crease the back of my shirt than jeopardize the relative appearance of my suit.

Obviously, whatever perspiration might occur as a result of any prolonged contact between my shirt and the back of the car seat would a) be absorbed by the undershirt as noted above, which would b) garner a more satisfactory short-term outcome for the suit jacket and therefore, by association, the overall suit; c) prolong the reasonably expected term of the suit and positively affect its depreciation specifically and as a result all competitively scheduled worsted assets in my current capacity; d) positively alter the amortization schedule of any and all haberdashery future capitalizations, should the same policy stay in effect; e) capitulate to such non-broader market variables as air-conditioning temperature and fan-speed preferences.

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