Saturday, September 18, 2004

I vote for a little shock and awe for Kim Jong Il.

North Korea was stopped by South Korea last year from acquiring 70 tonnes of sodium cyanide, a toxic chemical used to make sarin nerve gas, it has been reported.

Although it was unclear why the North wanted the chemical, the communist country did have a large stockpile of chemical and biological weapons, in addition to its nuclear weapons programs, US and South Korean officials said.

As humorous videos of ping-pong go, this is really great.

Colin Powell, taking a page from Rumsfeld's book, becomes a bit of a question-talker:

"Is success guaranteed? No. Is it going to be dangerous? Yes. But now is not the time to be faint of heart."

According to Charles Krauthammer, writing in the Washington Post:

If the election were held today, John Kerry would lose by between 88 and 120 electoral votes. The reason is simple: The central vulnerability of this president - the central issue of this campaign - is the Iraq war. And Kerry has nothing left to say.
According to Charles Krauthammer, as syndicated in the Tacoma News Tribune:
If the election were held today, John Kerry would lose by between 58 and 100 electoral votes. The reason is simple: The central vulnerability of this president - the central issue of this campaign - is the Iraq War. And Kerry has nothing left to say.
How's that for a flip-flop?

Friday, September 17, 2004

The punk rockers hit the road for Kerry.

The bands probably won't have much appeal to middle-of-the-road swing voters. But if the election is as close as the one in 2000, don't count out the kids in Mohawks, black leather and multiple piercings.

"I do believe a song can change the world, because people are inspired by music," said Justin Sane, one of the punk rockers who will appear in Portland. "There is a lot of emotion tied up in this presidential race. People are feeling the need to express themselves." Sane is lead singer and vocalist for Anti-Flag.

An Oklamhoma woman has a very simple demand for Tom Coburn's campaign:

"I want it stopped. He needs to realize he's not God."

The obsessed liberal media continues to connect Iraq with Vietnam.

George W. Bush is now trapped as tightly in Iraq as Johnson was in Vietnam. The war is going badly. The president's own intelligence estimates are pessimistic. There is no plan to actually win the war in Iraq, and no willingness to concede defeat.

I wonder who the last man or woman will be to die for this colossal mistake.
Let's see: 58,000 killed in Vietnam. 1,000 killed in Iraq. Zero people allowed the chance at democracy and no tyrants captured in Vietnam. 25 million freed in Iraq, and one of history's most brutal dictators captured. Yep, I see the similarities.

At least one good piece of news from the NY Times: Paul Krugman is on vacation.
Followup from Mike (9.18.04): I can't really argue the fact that Bob Herbert constitutes a pretty major part of the "liberal media," but in re the Vietnam point: as the Hotline quipped this afternoon, "you really can't spell 'quagmire' without Iraq."

The election will be decided in November, but it's certain Bush can whip Kerry in a jujitsu match.

We're watching the biggest jujitsu flip ever seen in American politics. President Bush, a slacker, a draft evader, a failure in business, a man so devoid of world curiosity that he rarely left America's shores (even checked "no overseas service" on his Air National Guard application) and a president who has misled the American people about everything from the invasion of Iraq to the cost of Medicare, has managed to flip John Kerry onto his back by turning Kerry's strengths -- his valor in Vietnam, his intellect, his expanded worldview and, yes, his nuanced thinking -- against him. In jujitsu that's how it's meant to be. In politics it's cynical and destructive -- and shamefully effective.
Nuanced thinking? At least Kerry's got that going for him. Whatever it means.

Gallup puts Bush up by 8 (RVs); Pew puts the race at 46-46 (RVs). However will we resolve this one?

(The obvious solution: Frank Newport and Andrew Kohut should duel.)

Q: How hard-up is the Cuban government?
A: So hard-up that even their Secret Service agents are crazy.

The author of the electronic mail identified himself as an agent with the Cuban Secret Service and threatened to shoot and kill the governor and threatened to "burn the ass of the president," according to an arrest affidavit by Secret Service Agent Jeffrey L. Nickols., an exceedingly-well-designed site for what it is. And amusing.

Votergasm is a non-partisan nonprofit campaign formed to simultaneously reverse two disturbing trends in American society: low voting rates among young people, and unacceptably low rates of youth sexual activity. The focus of is to encourage young people everywhere to pledge to have sex with voters on Election Night, and withhold sex from non-voters until the next presidential election.

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Less than a month after his acquittal for fondling-while-Tigger, Michael Chartrand was suspended again from Disney World, where he still works, for assaulting two employees. Quoth his lawyer, perhaps ironically: "He just can't catch a break."

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

The Simple Life heads to the Hill? Say it ain't so...

The most entertaining part of all, [Associate Producer Ryan] Crow said, would be: "They can help with administrative duties and perhaps they may have the opportunity to suggest certain policy reform or draft a bill for Congress.” Sure. How about an overhaul of Manolo Blahnik shoes? Or perhaps a bill to create more Pucci scarves and Marc Jacobs purses. Maybe even federal funding for homemade videos with a hotel heiress!
Of course, if there's one Congressional office that they belong in, it's Santorum's, so at least FOX did that part right.

The Germans have had enough, no more handball invites to Sri Lanka.

German Sports Exchange Programme organiser, Dietmer Doering, said: "We initially thought the team had got lost in nearby woods while jogging."

They even left their dirty laundry," he added. "This will be the last time we will be doing this. I am not planning to invite any more teams from Sri Lanka," he said.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Alan Keyes makes a mockery of being normal.

This time he's calling Mayor Daley a "troll."

"We have a future but we're not going be allowed to get to that future because a troll is sitting under the bridge saying I eat first," Keyes said.

Australia to Britain: "I see your Batman, and raise you one Ninja Turtle."

The Kerry camp, after careful calculation, presents the least sympathetic face they could think of:

The Kerry-Edwards campaign is asking the Federal Election Commission for guidance on how it could raise money to cover any recount costs, including whether it could use a legal compliance fund it is tapping to pay campaign lawyers and finance other legal and accounting costs.

Starting today, Illinois voters will become the first ever to select their state's official amphibian with an Internet vote.

(I voted for the Gray Tree Frog.)

Conan last night:

"Florida is getting ready for its third big hurricane in one month. They've already been hit by Hurricane Charley and Hurricane Frances. Apparently, this third one is called Hurricane Move Out of Florida, Dumbass."

Making the rounds:

The translation of those last two sentences, in case your French isn't as good as mine (ha!): "We are sorry that our president is an idiot. We did not vote for him."

(The label appears to be from a lefty bag-making company called Tom Bihn, and seems to have come to light a little while ago.)

Tim McGraw loses the respect of thousands of country fans; earns mine:

"I love politics," he says on the way back to his dressing room. "I love Bill Clinton. I think we should make him king. I'm talking the red robe, the turkey leg - everything."

Monday, September 13, 2004

Batman terrorizes the Brits, and of course, the media blows it way out of proportion.

After five and a half hours, he removed his batman mask and agreed to come down. Police used a crane to extract him from the ledge as his supporters chanted "free Batman" from behind a police cordon.

The breach raised immediate questions about the state of security for the royal family and Britain's other governmental institutions at a time when British intelligence services continue to warn that London is a prime target for the Al Qaeda terrorist network and affiliated groups.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

John Kerry will pull out all the stops to win this election.

Presidential assassination -- now there's a funny topic. Just ask John Kerry. When the head of the United Mine Workers presented him with a semiautomatic shotgun during a Labor Day campaign stop in West Virginia, Kerry chortled, "I thank you for the gift, but I can't take it to the debate with me." High-larious!

Huddling around a disabled tank and throwing stones can be hazardous to your health.

Separated-at-Birth #2*: Does anyone else think that Bob Shrum looks like that guy who played Peter Pettigrew?

(* - #1 is from about a month ago.)

Cheney gets to the bottom of this "failing economy" nonsense:

"Vice President Cheney continues to make the administration's case that the economy is growing. Yesterday, he said measurements of the nation's unemployment rate and consumer spending miss a key segment: people who make money selling on the auction Web site eBay. 'That's a source that didn't even exist 10 years ago,' Cheney told an audience in Cincinnati. 'Four hundred thousand people make some money trading on eBay.'"
Aha! That's what we've been missing. Let me just re-run those numbers... why, son of a gun! The economy has actually grown by 178% since Bush took office! Goddamn liberal media...

David Brooks, writing about the political split between "spreadsheet people" and "paragraph people," postulates thusly:

"I subscribe, however, to the mondo-neo-Marxist theory of information-age class conflict. According to this view, people who majored in liberal arts subjects like English and history naturally loathe people who majored in econ, business and the other 'hard' fields. This loathing turns political in adult life and explains just about everything you need to know about political conflict today."