Saturday, August 07, 2004

Today's most obvious headline.

"This is a network that we are trying to break. It is in the process of being dismantled," Interior Minister Faisal Saleh Hayyat told the AP in an interview Friday. "But the network is still not finished."
This just in: People who aren't voting for Bush means less people are voting for Bush. More at 11.

Friday, August 06, 2004

Paul Krugman says some stuff that's sure to piss Adam off:

"One thing is clear: calls to 'stay the course' are fatuous. The course we're on leads downhill. American soldiers keep winning battles, but we're losing the war: our military is under severe strain; we're creating more terrorists than we're killing; our reputation, including our moral authority, is damaged each month this goes on."

A great post in the Campaign Journal, including such facts and figures as:

Number of times Ben Affleck and the Heinz boys, Andre and Chris, performed a mock hoedown on stage: 1

Number of Bush supporters in Wheeling, West Virginia who inexplicably held a sign that read, "Name one Serb who ever threatened a single American?": 1

Number of American presidents from Ohio, according to John Glenn, who traveled with Kerry through the state: 8

Number of times Kerry said, apropos of nothing, "Godspeed, John Glenn": 1

Number of times the press has complained that its inferior bus, hotel, or train car is "the other America": approximately 1000

Swift Boat Veterans for Truth: falling apart already?

Thursday, August 05, 2004

Didn't Dan Aykroyd play this Sam Stolztfus character in the 1991 cult classic My Girl?

Has Dan Aykroyd turned Amish? Does he intend to vote for Bush? Do morticians or actors playing morticians plan to vote for Bush? I wonder how many mortician-playing-actors stomp mice underfoot. And who says the word, underfoot?

Amish farmer Sam Stolztfus waxes incomprehensible:

"You could hold up a dead mouse with a sign 'I love Bush' and we'd still probably think twice about stomping that mouse underfoot."
So does that mean you're supporting Bush ("we'd think twice") or not ("we'd still probably think twice," even though it has Bush on it)? And why would you stomp a dead mouse underfoot? And would the mouse be holding the sign? Or would you be holding up a dead mouse and also a sign? And would you be using the sign to support the dead mouse? Get your ass in gear, Sam.

Chuckle, chuckle, chuckle:

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said. "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Great column to defend the Iraqi war.

"Before, we educated ourselves to be able to leave. We were like machines, and we kept our emotions inside," said Falih.

Both women insisted that most Iraqis support the American troops. "We want to say thank you to the mothers and fathers of American soldiers," says Falih.

Charlie Daniels, always known as a bigot and racist.

"Someone who is trying to get popular through bigotry, bias and hatred should not be welcome, especially in a city like Dearborn with its rich diversity," Imad Hamad, regional director of the American-Arab Anti-Discrimination Committee.
Very true Imad. You know how those country singers spew hatred and bigotry in their concerts. It's like a regular Klan meeting when Charlie Daniels takes the stage. Fiddle and all.

Raw corn, "typically fed to livestock," makes a nifty snack for our nation's Rancher in Chief. ("Are you sure that's not a bear? Or a puma?")

Obama Baracka makes a humorous point:

"I think he'll need to explain how he can best represent the people of Illinois, not having ever lived here."

Dangerous naïveté from a chemistry teacher in Wisconsin:

"In light of 9/11, you have to take it seriously," [Doug] Thorne said. "I don't think it's a political play for votes. If they're going to do that, they'll do it in September or October."
Come on, Doug. Are you kidding me? Maybe these terror warnings were politically-motivated, and maybe they weren't, but honestly, does anyone think they (politicians in general, not just Republicans) would wait until September to step it up? Maybe you haven't been thinking about the election for the past year and a half, but you can be sure that pretty much everyone in Washington has (including, despite his protestations, the Little Secretary Who Couldn't).

Please click this link and see if it's really Tigger being carted out of court.

"Tigger had fondled under her arm and kept touching her right breast. She was embarrassed and ashamed and didn't want to tell me at that time. She has been crying a lot and does not want to come back to Disney World or ever see Tigger again," she wrote.
Enough said.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Tennessee Republicans didn't get a mainstream candidate on the House primary ballot in time, so the TN GOP is left with Jim Hart, who may actually be legally insane:

"Every person who opens the door -- as long as they're white -- I'll say, 'I'm James Hart. I'm running for Congress. My name will be on the ballot in the Aug. 5 Republican primary. I think white children deserve the same rights as everyone else.'"

Followup from Mike, 8/6: Even Jim Hart thought Jim Hart was too racist to become the GOP nominee: "'I didn't expect to win,' Hart said."

Remember when I lamented the fact that Dubya granted an interview to Dr. Phil? Turns out, that was the tip of the iceberg.

Kerry gets clever:

"President Bush is just a few blocks from here," Kerry said. "It occurred to me that he could meet me here for a great discussion of America's future if he was just willing to turn the corner."

President's coming to town... better hide the cash.

Three men named "Lamar Lemmons" ran in the MI Dem House primaries yesterday. Two won.

Nicholas Kristof posts a humorous letter that he received in reply to his criticism of the "Left Behind" series:

"The wicked shall be turned into Hell, and all the nations that forget God" (Psalm 9:17).

As a Christian, this verse is an example of God reaching out and warning us to get with His program. The alternative is eternal punishment. Which will you choose? You can act like the Bible is not true, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is. You’ll see. You really will... Following Jesus Christ is the only method to Heaven that God allows. Christians didn’t come up with this. It’s in the Bible.
So you better get with The Program, Nick: it's in the Bible.

NYT and USA Today can't seem to get their "officials" in a row.

NYT finds one of the silliest quotes I've seen in weeks:

"We don't do politics in the Department of Homeland Security," Mr. Ridge said.
At least he doesn't take himself too seriously.

I've heard enough about the abuses at Gitmo. Release them all.

"One interrogator grabbed the Koran with his feet up on the table and read it like he was reading a magazine. He made jokes about the Koran," the statement said, recounting one interrogation session.

"They threatened to send me to Morocco and Egypt, where I would be tortured. They played US music very loud during interrogations. They brought pictures of naked women and dirty magazines and put them on the floor," he said.
The horror!! The horror!! Where's the ACLU when you really need them? I'm sure Kerry will be all over these "abuses."

34 shows, 28 cities, 9 states, one week. What'll be the PA highlight of the tour? Jurassic 5 in State College? R.E.M. in Philly? Or John Mellencamp and Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds in Wilkes-Barre? It's a tough call.

Detroit voters make medical marijuana legal (as long as you can figure out how to use it without ever actually, you know, possessing any of it).

ACT and Will Ferrell provide a behind-the-scenes look at commercial-shooting at the Western White House in Crawford:

So stick with Bushie, and don't vote... and don't listen to liberals... or Democrats... or other Republicans that make fun of me... or read the news... or watch the news, except for FOX. Thank you, and God bless.
Worth watching, whatever your political leanings.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Kerry has a coronary when explaining what is at stake in the election.

"Everything is at stake!" Kerry told thousands of supporters who packed into Pere Marquette Park and lined the opposite side of the river. "Jobs! Health care! Education! Civil liberties! Civil rights! The Constitution! Social Security! Medicare! Our children! The environment! Our future! All of it is on the line."
Exclamation points come a dime a dozen in Wisconsin, I guess.

Daily Show last night: "This amid rumors that [Ridge] will be retiring after the election... Colleagues say he wants to spend more time at home scaring his family."

No one ever said the Finnish weren't tough until now.

"For people who play (Internet) games all night and don't have any friends, don't have any hobbies, to come into the army is a very big shock," said Commander-Captain Jyrki Kivela at the military conscription unit.
The Fins are damn good at all the Tom Clancy games. They promise.

The Pope takes time out from his hectic schedule of frisbee golf, racquetball, and rhythmic gymnastics to launch a Church and Sports department, in an attempt to lighten up the image of Catholicism (or, the regrettable but obligatory off-color explanation: in an attempt to make it acceptable for priests to go into locker rooms...?).

Tom Ridge sets the bar low:

"Just by showing up at work, you have made a powerful statement that they will not succeed."
Give me a break.

It is now possible to say conclusively that John Edwards, John Kerry, and George Bush have each spent several hours on a bus in the past two days. Millionaires riding a bus. Populist politics at its finest.

Sure lady, we'll let you see Saddam anytime you like.

"We need an American attorney," she said. "I have nothing against the American people, I know most of them did not want this war. It is your President."

Her openness, however, does not extend to American Jews. When a prominent Jewish lawyer was mentioned, she said: "You have got to understand, my father would never allow it. Never. I don't judge people, but I can't deal with Jews."
Let the daughter in the cell, then lock her in there with him.

Newsday is on top of the terror watch.

The operative, described as "credible" by British intelligence, told his debriefers that the attack would take place "60 days before the presidential election" on Nov. 2, according to a former senior National Security Council official. On Sept. 2 President George W. Bush is expected to address the Republican National Convention at Madison Square Garden.

New poll compilation (finally) for the major polls taken through July 25, 2004. My own calculations give me this:

June 23, 200444.0044.335.33
July 25, 200444.1746.253.33
Post-DNC (August 10, 2004?)???
(Sources: ABC/WP, American Research Group, AP, CBS/NYT, Christian Science Monitor, CNN, FOXNews, Gallup, LAT, Pew, Time, Zogby)

Bush picked up quarter of a point, and Kerry poached two from Nader. If the polls starting to trickle out in the last couple of days are any hint, bigger changes are on the way (in nine days, ABC/WP swung eight points to Kerry).


"'There is nothing right now that we're hearing that is new,' said one senior law enforcement official who was briefed on the alert. 'Why did we go to this level? . . . I still don't know that.'"

Monday, August 02, 2004

AP's humorously-named Mary Dalrymple, clearly a big softball fan, reports on Kerry's slugging prowess:

"The Massachusetts senator had just finished playing softball, where he hit two runs for the United Auto Workers team. "

CNN/Gallup/USA Today gives Bush a bounce?

"The survey showed Kerry losing 1 percentage point and Bush gaining 4 percentage points from a poll taken the week before the Boston convention."
I can understand Kerry sticking, but a four-point bump (with an MOE of +/-4) for Bush? His entire week consisted of clearing brush and falling off a bike. Damn you, Karl Rove, you bedeviling bastard!

Kerry makes a bold promise:

"Mr. Kerry said, 'I would consider it an unsuccessful policy if I hadn't brought significant numbers of troops back within the first term. And I will do that.'"
"Within the first term." Which would be "within the next four and a half years." If there are still over 100,000 American troops in Iraq even two years from now, under any administration (and I'm specifically including the administration that would be formed if Bush resigned and Cheney named Wolfowitz as his V.P.), I'll eat my hat.

This just in: former First Children are generally big giant weenies:

"Children of presidents have led armies, written bestselling books, run universities, served in the Cabinet. Eight went to Congress, seven have been ambassadors and now two have become presidents. But they have also suffered higher-than-average rates of divorce, alcoholism, suicide and premature death. I interviewed 19 of the 27 living children and they all agreed: The disadvantages outweigh the advantages."
Gee, I hope I can stop these tears of sympathy long enough to find my tiny, tiny violin.

Cruise ship for eco-tourists does its job well.

Coast Guard Chief Warrant Officer Roddy Corr said about 5,000 gallons of diesel fuel spilled from the ruptured tank, as was some waste water. He said swift currents dispersed the spilled fluid before it could be cleaned up

Swift currents?!? Swift currents?? Good excuse for sleeping on the job Greenpeace!

Secret Service asks the Arizona Daily Star for the race of a staffer assigned to an upcoming rally:

Walton told Hayt that Popat's race was necessary to allow the Secret Service to distinguish her from someone else who might have the same name. "It was a very lame excuse," Hayt said.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Former Kerry family hamster comes out against stem cell research:

With any kind of research, hamsters always wind up taking it right on the chin. And we barely even have chins.