Saturday, July 17, 2004

It was the dress code that was the problem...

"In order to gain respect in a situation, you must be attired to gain respect," Mr. Adams said in an interview. He said if air marshals were allowed to be too casual in their dress, "they probably would not gain the respect of passengers if a situation were to occur."

"Well, if Allah had intended me to blow up this plane, He surely wouldn't have filled it with surly-looking, crew-cut men wearing suit coats. So I guess I'll just sit back down in my seat here... Geez, Osama is going to be pissed."

Could our president be a cheap bastard?

The president chatted with a few tables of customers and shook some hands before moving to the bar, where he ordered four Cuban sandwiches (ham, pork and cheese). The bill was $19, and he paid the bartender with a $20 bill. Before leaving, Governor Bush asked him if he left a tip. 'You take care of it,' the president said, smiling.

Nick Kristof asks, with reference to the "Left Behind" series, "Should we really give intolerance a pass if it is rooted in religious faith?" I posted this primarily to piss Adam off, but Kristoff raises an interesting point. At what point does the invective spewed by hyper-evangelical Christians become unacceptable? I recognize that a certain double standard is inevitable, if undesirable, but once we start talking about hurling non-believers into fiery pits, haven't we closed the standard-gap enough that we've become objectionable?

As if I didn't hate M. Night Shyamalan enough...

Another reason to hate Ah-nold.

As if Ah-nold wasn't a mistake, now his wife is going to support John Skerry. Those Taxachusetts liberals always stick together.

Friday, July 16, 2004

So graceful.

NYT notes that the Senate approved a reformatting of tobacco regulation:

Mr. Kennedy said, "This is the most important step we can take for public health short of curing cancer itself."

"But check this out," Senator Kennedy continued, removing a can of Miller Genuine Draft from his coat pocket. Advising reporters to "Grab [their] balls," the senior Senator from Massachusetts shotgunned the can in a period of time later described by aides as "just over five seconds." "Hooo-ee!" said the Senator, smashing the can against his forehead and hurling it across the corridor at a passing Rick Santorum. "Where was I?"

What would the world do without idiocy (via Hotline's Wake-Up Call)?

L.A. Daily News ("Like the N.Y. Daily News, Only Less Well-Known") says that Hillary will address the convention after all:

"Sen. Clinton is honored and delighted..." - Philippe Reines
"We are thrilled..." - Stephanie Cutter
"I am delighted..." - Judith Hope

I sure am tickled that the DNC has made its politicos so jubilant. Positively chuffed, I am. Full of mirth... rapturous... gleeful!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Kilborn last night, on Ditka in IL:

"Legendary football coach and erection enthusiast Mike Ditka is weighing a run to the United States Senate from Illinois. If he runs, Ditka will have to answer tough questions such as, 'Coach, why do you look so much like a wolf?'"

Jon Stewart does some constitutional math:

"...from Texas Senator Republican John Cornyn, who in a speech to the Conservative Heritage Foundation this week put the gay marriage issue thusly: 'It does not affect your daily life very much if your neighbor marries a box turtle. But that does not mean it is right.' Now you must raise your children in a world where the union of a man and a box turtle is on the same legal footing as man and wife. So, to sum up, it will take 2/3 of both Houses and 3/4 of the states to approve an amendment saying that two straight parents is greater than one straight parent, which is still greater than two gay parents, which is equal to a guy screwing a turtle."

An impressive expenditure of time, this (if little else).

The Old Man and the Sea

"The sea is important to me," Kerry said. ... Kerry said some of his most creative thinking on the speech came Wednesday afternoon when he cycled along Boston's Charles River.

Kerry added, off the record, "I was thinking about peeing. Right in that gosh darn river."

Scott McClellan:

"The president has many friends who are members of the N.A.A.C.P."

Many friends. Many, many friends. In fact, one of the president's best friends is black. Plus, he's got several brown nephews. So there you go. Can't be a racist. No sir.

NYT already preparing for Kerry defeat.

NYT reports that the Cheney-takes-a-doctor-motivated-dive rumors have reached "prominent Democrat" levels. I want it noted for the record that (in a move inspired by Nicholas Kristof) I fully support the idea. 

Wayne Allard blathers in Roll Call:

"I think it is a great start," said Sen. Wayne Allard (R-Colo.), who acknowledged that opponents of the bill could also claim victory if they focused solely on the vote total. "If they technically want to make that argument I guess they can on the number of votes, but I think it is a win," he said.

In other news, the National League won the other night, beating the American League by a final score of NL 4, AL 9.

Liberals may control the media, but conservatives control the nation's diet companies.

Further Illinois Senate silliness, via Newsday:

"Dr. Barthwell suggested that the staff member would want to cut the cake available for the gathering because the knife was 'long and hard' and he might 'enjoy handling it.' When the cake was cut, Dr. Barthwell referred to the pieces as 'most' [sic] or 'beefy' and she said to the staff member, 'I know you like it big and meaty.'"

If Shakespeare had written a play about the Republicans' lineup of Senate hopefuls... well, it wouldn't be called 'Othello.'
  • Followup from Mike: The Illinois Leader, "Illinois' Conservative News Source," has posted a poll: "Whose corpse should the IL GOP dig up to run for US Senate?"