Sportscenter. Plenty of people will tell you that it's not what it used to be, and that's probably true. Dan Patrick, Keith Olbermann, Craig Kilborn: the mid-nineties were kind to ESPN. But I still watch Sportscenter whenever I get the chance, and I want it noted in the record that I still find it to be pretty good. Even the less-than-stellar anchors (Stuart Scott, Linda Cohn) can be counted on to get off a decent joke or two amidst the schlock, and the elite (John Anderson, Scott Van Pelt, Mellow Neil Everett [as distinguished from Intense Neil Everett, who can be a bit much]) reliably make me chuckle five or ten times a show. Long story short: Sportscenter is still worth watching. But I seem to be burying the lead, because the real motivation for this post is to air a complaint.
Here’s my beef: on days when there are a lot of games to cover (which is pretty much a given at this time of year), Sportscenter's producers frequently let the Top Ten fall by the wayside. And that’s just wrong. At this point, the Top Ten is almost as much of an institution as the show itself. It’s a terrible let-down to devote an entire hour to Sportscenter and still have to go to bed without the wrap-up-the-day feeling that comes with those ten nifty plays. Where else will I get to see Mike Lowell pulling the hidden-ball trick on unsuspecting rookies? Speedy college teams pulling quadruple reverses that lead to eighty-yard touchdowns? D-II basketball players dunking over other D-II basketball players? Soccer players scoring goals with their heads? Hell, hockey players scoring goals with their heads? And anything at all to do with hurling? And let’s not forget those wacky animals! I don't watch Good Morning America (which ought to have a comma in its title, but doesn’t), so Sportscenter’s Top Ten is the only place I ever get to see water-skiing squirrels or large dogs involving themselves in feats of derring-do.
So let’s get it together, Sportscenter. I don’t care about the Coors Light Six-Pack, or the Budweiser Hot Seat, or the Miller Genuine Draft Sponsored Segment. I want to see high schoolers throwing the ball into the endzone from their own 15. Show me the highlights!
Follow-Up (October 31, 2005): In honor of Halloween, Sportscenter just ran the Top Ten Trick Plays. I am sated.