First sentence of a story in the Mobile Register:

Just about everybody in Theodore, it seems, has a story about hookers.

From the "No Kidding" file:

Sources say Heinz, who claims to have gone into the campaign kicking and screaming, went into a deep funk after George W. Bush was re-elected - especially because the junior senator came so close to victory.

Maureen Dowd: bitter much? Interesting study, though.

A second study, which was by researchers at four British universities and reported last week, suggested that smart men with demanding jobs would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals. The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get married, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.

Today's Last Call Shot and Chaser:

SHOT...
"Harvard students predict Hagel presidency in 2008" (AP, 1/13/05).
...CHASER
"Harvard hires 'fun czar' to spice up student life" (Reuters, 1/13/05).

Cheese puffs: Not just a delicious, non-fatal snack anymore!

Bushy irony.

Three government watchdog groups said yesterday that the official in charge of protecting federal workers from harassment by their bosses has undertaken a politically motivated reorganization of his agency.

Scott J. Bloch, head of the Office of Special Counsel, told 12 career employees last week that they would be involuntarily transferred to new assignments in Dallas; Oakland, Calif.; and a soon-to-open field office in Detroit, the nonprofit groups said in a letter to the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee.

Rob Simmons comes up with a great reason to avoid the political hassle of Social Security:

"Why stir up a political hornet's nest... when there is no urgency?" said Rep. Rob Simmons (R-Conn.), who represents a competitive district. "When does the program go belly up? 2042. I will be dead by then."

Call me a wacky liberal looney if you will, but this seems awfully questionable:

TRURO, Mass., Jan. 7 - In an unusual last-ditch move to find clues to the three-year-old killing of a freelance fashion writer, police investigators are trying to get DNA samples from every man in this Cape Cod hamlet, all 790 or so, or as many as will agree.

Sgt. David Perry of the Truro Police Department and other law enforcement authorities here say that the program is voluntary but that they will pay close attention to those who refuse to provide DNA. "We're trying to find that person who has something to hide," Sergeant Perry said.