Bush takes a shot at Kerry's comments on Allawi:

"You can't lead this country if your ally in Iraq feels like you question his credibility."

Now, to be fair, I'm not sure that's entirely true. France, for instance, is still technically our ally, and Bush questions their credibility on a fairly regular basis, even though some would argue that Bush is leading this country.

That's beside the point, though, because Iraq clearly comes with a special clause in its alliance papers: "If we don't think you're agreeing with us loudly enough, we'll bomb the hell out of you." So Kerry's got nothing to worry about.

Theresa Heinz Kerry*, in an apparent attempt to piss Adam off, gives voice to that which liberals have been whispering for months:

In regard to the hunt for terror leader Osama Bin Laden, Heinz Kerry said she could see the al-Qaida chief being caught before the November election. "I wouldn't be surprised if he appeared in the next month," said Heinz Kerry, alluding to a possible capture by United States and allied forces before election day.

(* - The 400th-richest person in the country.)

Letterman's Top Ten from Wednesday night:

Top Ten Ways CBS Can Improve Its Reputation

10. Stick to stories everyone can agree on, like cookies are delicious.
9. Move nightly 'happy hour' to after the broadcast.
8. Stop hiring guys with crazy names like "Morley."
7. Can't figure out if a news story is true? Let Judge Joe Brown decide.
6. Every time Mike Wallace tells a lie he gets a life-threatening electrical shock.
5. Newsroom patrolled by some kind of lovable but strict "truth monkey."
4. If it turns out the story is wrong, give away 276 brand new cars.
3. After delivering a report, correspondent must add, "or maybe not - who knows?"
2. Newscast consists of Dan Rather sitting down to watch Tom Brokaw.
1. Oh, I dunno, stop making up crap?

PA Supreme Court rules that driving a horse while intoxicated is not a crime. Dissenting, world-renowned Rhyming Justice Michael Eakin takes his colleagues to task:

"A horse is a horse, of course, of course,
but the Vehicle Code does not divorce
its application from, perforce,
a steed as my colleagues said.
'It's not vague,' I'll say until I'm hoarse,
and whether a car, a truck or horse
this law applies with equal force,
and I'd reverse instead."

Money, it would appear, does buy happiness (the first sentence of this article notwithstanding).

56% of respondents earning $75,000 or more a year say they're "very satisfied" with their lives. Compare that to 24% of those earning $25,000 or less who say the same thing.

Man changes name to "They." Idiots the world over wish they'd (ho!) thought of it first.

Adnan Abu Odeh is a freaking dumbass.

"It's savage revenge rather than execution," said Jordanian political analyst Adnan Abu Odeh. "While there are those who are disgusted, a certain percentage no doubt feel vindicated because of the killings they see by the Americans in Iraq."

Zerrouk Slimani, a Tunisian school teacher, said nobody should regret the killing of Westerners. "When dozens of Palestinians are dead or 50 killed in Iraq, few in the West condemn these assassinations," he explained.

I vote mass bombings to straighten this situation out. Bush stalling in Fallujah has done nothing to stop the terrorists. Kill them before they hack another head off because they feel "vindicated."

Turns out that grief-stricken mother arrested last week at the Laura Bush rally is a bit of a loon after all:

"I wanted to rip the president's head off... I think if I had him in front of me I would shoot him in the groined area. Let him suffer. And just continue shooting him there. Put him through misery, like he's doing to everyone else. He doesn't deserve any better."

Whoa there, crazy lady. No one's shooting anyone in the groined area. Not on my watch.

John Edwards drops a killer education metaphor:

"The American people deserve better than a President who doesn't do his homework for four years and then does a bad job of copying someone else's when he is running for re-election."

Eerily reminscent of Gore 2000 (or Clinton 1992, or Clinton 1996, for that matter), don't you think?

A South Korean embassy official who met with fund-raisers for John F. Kerry to talk about creating a political group for Korean-Americans was a spy for his country, South Korean and US officials said.

Seriously, does this have to come up in every single election? Maybe the DNC ought to start screening the people it meets with...

An amusing State Department omission, via In the Loop:

To be helpful, State put up a map showing in red where al Qaeda had been operating around the world.

Those places include this country, Europe and Russia, North Africa and most of the Middle East. But wait! There are a couple of countries in the Middle East where al Qaeda had not been operating as of the fall of 2001: Syria and Iraq.

But we now are told al Qaeda had been all over Iraq then, right next to the WMD. In any event, it's operating there now, so best to update soon.

Finally, Kerry let's us know where he stands on Saddam:

"Saddam Hussein was a brutal dictator who deserves his own special place in hell," Kerry said.

So there. His own special place in hell. Flip-flop that.