Vice Presidential rampage!

"He always seemed like such a nice guy," said a neighbor. "Quiet, you know. And pretty angry, I guess. I remember this one time, I was raking leaves, and a few of them blew off the top of my pile into his yard. Boy oh boy, did he let me have it. Only fair, though. I thought the 'irresponsible raking' thing was a joke at first, but after those Secret Service guys left, I completely agreed. You just don't do that. It's not neighborly."

Reached for comment in Baghdad, former Cheney friend Saddam Hussein joked, "When Dick shoots someone, it's an accident. But when I shoot someone, it's genocide. Tell me how that's fair." Added Hussein, "Really. Please, tell me. My defense team has completely run out of ideas."*

* - Disclaimer: Mr. Hussein is currently on trial for genocide, and may not have been joking.