According to The Hotline:

"If the Washington Redskins lose or tie in their last game before the election, the incumbent's party loses the WH. That has held true for the past 72 years, or 18 elections "

Let's go Green Bay!

"She (Hillary) was as beautiful as a princess. I told her my name is Big Watermelon."

The heady group of people that Opinion Dynamics contacted for the latest FNC - cough, cough, push-poll, cough - survey finds that Kerry wins the "more likely to change positions on the issues" category by a Globetrotter-worthy score of 56-19. You'll have to try a lot harder than that if you want to take this one back, Dubya!

Kerry leads Bush by 10 points in Pennsylvania?

Number 3 on the Top Ten Ways That I, P. Diddy, Am Getting People to Vote (as presented by P. Diddy): "Remember 'Hands Across America'? Yeah, well, we ain't doin' that."

This guy is onto something. My favorite: "485 dead. 2,779 seriously wounded. 3,264 blood-soaked uniforms. And we impeached Clinton over one lousy dress." Take that, conservative freeway bloggers!

Got a suspicious package? Send it to a Republican and run.

The end of yesterday's In the Loop column notes this post-interview exchange between Rumsfeld and a hard-hitting radio host named Blanquita Cullum:

Cullum: "Thank you, Mr. Secretary."
Rumsfeld: "Well, thank you, Blanquita. It's fun to talk to you, and I hope to do it again."
Cullum: "Well, you know I'm one of your big fans. I love you a lot."
Rumsfeld: "Oh, terrific. Come and see us when you're in Washington."
Cullum: "Well, I live here. In fact, I work for the president. I'm on the Broadcasting Board of Governors for you guys."
Rumsfeld: "Well, for Pete's sake, why doesn't [Pentagon spokesman] Larry DiRita get you over here someday?
Cullum: "I would love it because, you know, I'm out there on TV a lot, and I'm one of your biggest allies. I stick up for you all the time."
Rumsfeld: "Good for you. Thank you. I appreciate it."
Cullum: "Take care, Mr. Secretary, and bless you. Thank you very much."
Rumsfeld: "Thank you."

In her defense, "I stick up for you all the time" is actually a common motto among objective journalists. In fact, the Columbia Journalism Review's website calls the phrase "eight little words to live by."

John Kerry is a horny jerk.

PETA hires Playmates to give out free hot dogs. Newt-ity ensues:

PETA, set up on the Rayburn steps at Independence Avenue, countered with a heart-healthy menu of vegetarian hot dogs and bottled water. It drew a lengthy line to its single table, although probably not for the food: two Playboy Playmates were serving up the dogs, wearing bikinis made from lettuce. Vegetarians both, the two buxom beauties, Lauren Anderson and Kari Kennell, were making their third and second appearances at the event, respectively.

PETA's Matt Prescott allowed that the bikinis were actually made of fake lettuce, so there was "no danger of wilting. Otherwise, the line probably would have been even longer."

He said Newt Gingrich stopped by to sample their wares, telling the PETA crowd he "loves veggie dogs."

Sports Gal, on Ken Jennings: "I hope he gets eaten by a tiger."

What defines the South these days? Some classy stuff:

[AR Gov. Mike Huckabee] says Edwards will try to portray himself as a fellow Southerner when he does not hunt, fish, like NASCAR racing or country music.

Do you suppose you have to like all four of those things to be a Southerner? Or will any two or three do?