Kerry's speechwriter goes berserk:

Using the nickname Bush used for [Michael] Brown, Kerry said, "Brownie is to Katrina what Paul Bremer is to peace in Iraq, what George Tenet is to slam-dunk intelligence, what Paul Wolfowitz is to parades paved with flowers in Baghdad, what Dick Cheney is to visionary energy policy, what Donald Rumsfeld is to basic war planning, what Tom DeLay is to ethics and what George Bush is to 'Mission Accomplished' and 'Wanted Dead or Alive."

Nicholas Kristof sums up Pervez Musharraf in two words: "He's nuts."

A former MacArthur fellow writes about the experience of being a "genius." Amusing.

"Crazy People: No Longer Just in Idaho!"

A message King County elections workers found scrawled on a yellow Post-it note and mailed with an absentee ballot left little doubt about what was at stake in Tuesday's otherwise ho-hum primary election[:] "Please count my vote this time you Marxist morons. Have a nice day."

Effective, concise, to-the-point; you can't fault the man's rhetoric, and you have to admire his fortitude. Sticking around to vote even after he becomes convinced that the Marxist morons in charge aren't counting his ballots? That's patriotism.

This entire story (headlined "Storms wrought by Japan's mafia?") is funny because it seems like it's fake, but is actually real.

Great joke from Leno last night:

[Rita] is like the ninth hurricane this season... You know, maybe this wasn't such a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance.

For interest's sake, Jon Stewart made almost the exact opposite (and equally-funny) joke a couple of weeks ago, after Bush announced the National Day of Prayer (which I will paraphrase, because I don't quite remember it):

National Day of Prayer? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure Katrina was an act of... God. Maybe now's not the time for praise. Maybe now's the time for... shunning.

Barry Bonds disses Congress, giving Tom Davis's spokesman a chance to be funny:

Told of Bonds' comments, Dave Marin, a spokesman for House Government Reform Committee chairman Tom Davis, R-Va., said: "Members of Congress, particularly Tom Davis, can walk and chew gum at the same time."

I like that he singled Tom Davis out. "Like, Tom Davis is so capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time, man. You don't even know."

Protesters in Harrisburg indicate their displeasure with state legislators by installing a large inflatable pig on the steps of the Capitol. Really.

Today's Last Call! picks up a great quote from Redskins linebacker Marcus Washington, regarding last night's four-minute-flurry: "We're heroes, all of us."

Arr.

William Rehnquist dies, two days before the John Roberts hearings begin. Among those saddened: his family, liberals (who Know What This Means), and the collected staff of the eighteen members of the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Apparently, Bush has decided to cut his vacation short to "personally oversee the federal [Katrina relief] effort."

So it's important for him to go on with his life when Americans die in Iraq, but not when Americans die in Mississippi?*

* - Disclaimer: I know these are two totally different situations, and I don't fault him for cutting his vacation short in light of the hurricane (though what oversight he'll be doing is beyond me), but it sure seems like an easy and obvious political pot-shot to take.