Name: Mike Grunwald and Jim VandeHei
Class: Mrs. Flannigan, English 4, Washington Post High School
Assignment: In the context of a news article (not an editorial piece), describe Dennis Hastert as vividly as possible in 50 words or less.

Hastert doesn't seem capable of intense anything; he has a conservative voting record but a moderate temperament. He looks like a cross between actor Wilford Brimley and Jabba the Hutt, and his unassuming Midwestern public demeanor makes for dull television.

"But we're sure he's a lovely person."