Sportscenter just ran a great feature on Darren Daulton, who, since retiring nine years ago, has apparently gone (as John Kruk put it) "crazynuts."¹ Daulton believes in what he calls "metaphysics," and is utterly convinced that he has "skipped through time" and "experienced astral travel." (In a perhaps-related note, his second DUI prompted the court to order him into detox; he attended, but refuses to admit that he has a problem with alcohol.) He also believes that on October 12, 2012,² those who are "ready" will be taken to a "new spiritual plane." (Though to be fair, he does caution that he "[doesn't] know that it will be the end of the world.")

The best part, which made me laugh out-fucking-loud, was the endcap that the anchor put on the piece,³ without so much as a hint of a smile: "Daulton [continues to believe in metaphysics], but says that he would put his studies aside... if he is offered a managerial position." Emphasis obviously added.

I live for this.
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1 - Kruk was only saying that as a characterization of what other people say; he personally continues to "stand behind" his friend Dutchie.
2 - I think that was the date; it was somewhere around then.
3 - I'm pretty sure it was Rece Davis.