Mark Warner, (off the record) at Saturday's Gridiron dinner:

"That's why, if I do run for president, I may ask Senator Allen to be my running mate. Think about it - what's more presidential than this: I'm a red-state governor, who failed at a couple of businesses, and I liked to party too much in college, and I recently got in a well-publicized bike accident. He's a guy named George who's done nothing more than live off his dad's legacy. Together we wouldn't just get elected president - together, we already are the president."

Ouch!

During a recent speech, former Somebody Tom Daschle - a man who lost a 2004 Senate race to a certifiable lunatic - expressed "some frustration with the way Democrat John Kerry of Massachusetts ran his campaign for president last year."

The pot; the kettle; the name-calling... it's too much! Too much!

Weekend Update on Saturday (courtesy of The Hotline):

Tina Fey: "A new study suggests that middle-aged adults who go on periodic drinking binges may face a heightened risk of dementia later in life. The study is entitled, "National Strategy for Victory in Iraq."

Ted Sorenson and Arthur Schlesinger come out swinging:

What did we not hear from President Bush when he spoke last week at the United States Naval Academy about his strategy for victory in Iraq?

We did not hear that the war in Iraq, already one of the costliest wars in American history, is a running sore. We did not hear that it has taken more than 2,000 precious American lives and countless - because we do not count them - Iraqi civilian lives. We did not hear that the struggle has dragged on longer than our involvement in either World War I or the Spanish-American War, or that by next spring it will be even longer than the Korean War.

And we did not hear how or when the president plans to bring our forces back home - no facts, no numbers on America troop withdrawals, no dates, no reference to our dwindling coalition, no reversal of his disdain for the United Nations, whose help he still expects.

"Because we do not count them": nice.

An interesting - if surprising - column by Nick Kristof, advocating deer-hunting:

As for deer, partly because hunting is perceived as brutal and vaguely psychopathic, towns are taking out contracts on deer through discreet private companies. Greenwich, Conn., budgeted $47,000 this year to pay a company to shoot 80 deer from raised platforms over four nights - as well as $8,000 for deer birth control. Look, this is ridiculous.

He's got a point, but it's hard to get past that whole "brutal and vaguely phychopathic" thing. I wonder if there have been many academic studies on whether hunters are systematically more... well, brutal and psychopathic than their non-hunting brethren. If I was a little less lazy, I'd do some research, but I'm not, so I'll just speculate idly.

Letterman writer Tom Ruprecht uncovers several instances of political résumé-padding in the wake of Gov. Bill Richardson's (D-Oakland Athletics D-N.M.) admission that he was not, in fact, drafted by the Oakland Athletics:

Harry Reid, the Senate minority leader, announces he's no longer sure he was actually the first man to walk on the moon. The admission comes after years of acrimony between Senator Reid and Neil Armstrong. "You look at photos of the moon landing and it sort of resembles how I think I would kind of look in a spacesuit," Mr. Reid says. "People tell me that all the time. I do have very vivid memories of seeing the earth from high above, but I now realize I may have been on a Ferris wheel."

Colbert the other night (in the midst of a pro-death-penalty rant):

Most disappointingly, my own Catholic church is against the death penalty. Well that's pretty hypocritical, considering they wouldnt even have a religion if it weren't for capital punishment.

Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas A&M University) announces his intention to conduct a "comprehensive review" of the "deeply flawed" BCS. Sour grapes because the Aggies aren't bowl-eligible this year, perhaps?

In the interest of back-to-back picture-posts, here's a Senate resolution that I've had laying around for a while, but never got around to scanning until this afternoon. I've always felt that this resolution, dated May 19, 1981, should have more of a following on the Internet, but it doesn't come up very often.

Click the picture to read the whole thing (it's short), but the gist is that Daniel Patrick Moynihan sought to express the sense of the Senate that the Hart S.O.B. be rewrapped in plastic construction sheathing in order to improve the building's aesthetics.

Brilliant. (And not a bad idea.)

You know those smarmy "Jesus: He's the Reason for the Season" bumper stickers and window signs that you always see around this time? How come they never show up at other times of the year?


I think the world's sign-makers are missing a serious opportunity. With a little imagination, you could have one for every major holiday: Valentine's Day (Cupid), Easter (Sad Jesus), Hanukkah (Oil), Pearl Harbor Day (Hirohito?). The sky's the limit.

You're the Governor of Culleyfornia; your poll numbers are stagnant and you've recently had your ass handed to you by the Culleyfornian electorate. How do you turn it around? Simple. You hire the people who made Gray Davis such a success.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger - attempting to regain his political footing after a devastating special election defeat this month - has begun a shakeup of his administration by replacing his chief of staff with a former state Democratic Party official and top adviser to former Gov. Gray Davis, Democratic and Republican sources said Tuesday.

This is pretty bizarre:

Given that they stand some 30 feet tall, their disappearance is attracting a good deal of attention here - even as their final destination remains a mystery.

Thieves are sawing down aluminum light poles. Some 130 have vanished from Baltimore's streets in the last several weeks, the authorities say, presumably sold for scrap metal. But so far the case of the pilfered poles has stumped the police, and left many local residents wondering just how someone manages to make off with what would seem to be a conspicuous street fixture.

The poles, which weigh about 250 pounds apiece, have been snatched during the day and in the middle of the night, from two-lane blacktop roads and from parkways with three lanes on either side of grass median strips, in poor areas and in some of the city's most affluent neighborhoods. Left behind are half-foot stubs of metal, with wires that carry 120 volts neatly tied and wrapped in black electric tape.