Problem 1: President Bush, reeling from the recent withdrawal of Rambo's name from consideration, is left without a Secretary of Homeland Security.

Problem 2: The Yankees are facing a trillion-dollar contract dispute with their admittedly-steroid-using first baseman.

My dreams were apparently more productive than usual last night, because I woke up with a two-birds-with-one-stone solution to both of those problems sitting on the tip of my tongue: Jason Giuliambi.