This is pretty old, but I just stumbled across it in my bookmarks, and it's awesome enough that it's worth posting now.

Former chief White House speechwriter Michael Gerson (Washington Post, July 9, 2008):

Many social problems seem complex beyond hope. But dramatic progress against hunger is not. There are many explanations why this effort has not been undertaken -- but there are no good excuses.

Current chief White House speechwriter Marc Thiessen (Washington Post, July 7, 2008):

With the passing of Sen. Jesse Helms, the media have demonstrated one final time that they never fully understood the power or impact of this great man. ... President Bush had it right when he said on Friday that "from Central America to Central Europe and beyond, people remember: In the dark days when the forces of tyranny seemed on the rise, Jesse Helms took their side." This is the Jesse Helms that Miroslav Medvid remembers. Unfortunately, it was not the Jesse Helms written about this weekend.

That's change we can believe in!

I'm not sure what's worse about this: that it's on Obama's own website, or that it's in a section that refers to Michael Smerconish as an "expert."


(Via Wonkette.)

The Onion:

Man Who Used Stick To Roll Ball Into Hole In Ground Praised For His Courage

SAN DIEGO—A man who used several different bent sticks to hit a ball to an area comprised of very short grass surrounding a hole in the ground was praised for his courage Monday after he used a somewhat smaller stick to gently roll the ball into the aforementioned hole in fewer attempts than his competitors. "What guts, what confidence," ESPN commentator Scott Van Pelt said of the man, who was evidently unable to carry his sticks himself, employing someone else to hold the sticks and manipulate the flag sticking out of the hole in the ground while he rolled the ball into it. "You have to be so brave, so self-assured, so strong mentally to [roll a ball into a hole in the ground]. Amazing." The man in question apparently hurt his knee during this activity.

Andy Cobb is an American hero.



(Via Wonkette.)

Thank you, New York Times:

Mr. McCain has been a champion of public financing of campaign [sic] throughout his career.

Except for sometimes, of course.

Apropos of nothing, here are three sports-related things that made me laugh, and one sports-related thing that made me sad:

• The Onion News Network: NHL Star Called Up To Big Leagues To Play For NFL Team ("Reggie, when Ovechkin started out in the NHL, do you think he ever dreamed he'd be able to play sports professionally one day?")
• Fire Joe Morgan: Heaven Is Reading This HatGuy Column ("Yes, 'twas a fine time. The baseball men would laze about, drunk on molasses moonshine, cheeks puffed with tobacco crabgrass. No coloreds were allowed, and the only women were the Lace Tutu Girls, whose sole purpose was to light your cigar and freshen your martini -- toplessly, of course. Ah, 1988.")
• The Onion: Nationals Book It After Foul Ball Accidentally Smashes Capitol Rotunda ("Although McConnell had no evidence at the time that Zimmerman was responsible for the damages, he was the chief suspect, as he is the only National able to hit the ball farther than 300 feet.")
• E:60: Down and Out? TCU defensive end Tommy Blake's struggle with mental illness absolutely destroyed his NFL draft value. The mental illness in question? Depression. "There are some teams that just won't deal with it," says former NFL GM Randy Mueller. Sad.

You tell 'im, Ernie.



(Via Wonkette.)

John McCain on the Daily Show (part I; part II). I'm not going to transcribe the whole interview, but here's a summary:

Stewart: Senator McCain, it's an honor.
McCain: Glad to be here.
Stewart's brain: Ask him about Hagee!
Stewart: You are... gosh, you are just swell, and I hope you know it.
McCain: Thank you, Jon.
Stewart's brain: No, man. Hagee!
Stewart: Have I ever told you about how I wish I could vote for you one million times every day?
McCain: You're very kind.
Stewart's brain: Okay, fine. Forget Hagee. Try to pin him down on exactly how long he's willing to stay in Iraq if American casualties continue.
Stewart: You're in my Facebook, you know.
McCain: Absolutely, Jon. Facebook, right, whatever.
Stewart's brain: What the fuck is the matter with you? Alright, here's one you'll like. Ask him why he said that Hamas endorsed Barack Obama.
Stewart: "There was one comment -- and this could have been taken out of context as well [it wasn't] -- you felt that Hamas had endorsed Obama. Did they officially..."
McCain [taken aback]: Well, a spokesperson from Hamas said that they wanted [blah blah blah].
Stewart's brain: Hey, way to go! An actual question. Now follow up, follow up!
Stewart: [Clever logical trap that McCain didn't actually catch until it was too late.]
McCain: [Wary agreement.]
Stewart's brain: Damn, yo!
Stewart: "So they don't really endorse Barack Obama. They just... they would hate anybody, because they hate our way of life."
Stewart's brain: Going for the jugular!
McCain: "That is true, but... [bullshit bullshit bullshit, glaring inconsistency]."
Stewart: Oh. Right. Good point.
Stewart's brain: ... So close.
Stewart: Want to come see my treehouse?
Stewart's brain: I hate my job.

Seriously, it was pathetic. McCain spent a solid fifteen minutes onstage, and Stewart spent fourteen and a half of those minutes utterly refusing to call McCain on anything. ("How do you differentiate yourself from George Bush" is not a confrontation; it's an invitation to recite a campaign commercial.)

Way to carpe the diem, Jon. Really, kudos.

Stop hurting America.

George Johnson, one of my favorite science journalists, bizarrely turned up on the Colbert Report last night. He was kind of a letdown, though, so for those of you who'd consider buying his book but found yourself turned off by his lackluster Colbert preformance, be sure to give him another chance.

John Sidney McCain, on why the North Carolina GOP oughtn't to have run its Obama ad:

We are the party of Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, and Ronald Reagan. And that party, that Republican party... there's no room for this kind of activity.

Ah, yes. Ronald Reagan, bastion of tolerance. Do you think McCain maybe doesn't remember Ronald Reagan? Or is this just another example of McCain being awful at pandering?

Also, in vaguely related news (which is to say, both of these thoughts were inspired by the NewsHour): maybe Judy Woodruff is a great reporter, I don't know; but as a moderator, she is awful. (As I've mentioned.)

Op-edification:

In the delicate world of diplomatic protocol, mispronouncing a foreign leader's name ranks among the worst of faux pas. But that is lost on many Americans. Who can forget Hillary Rodham Clinton's verbal gymnastics after being asked by Tim Russert to name the new president of Russia? (Most transcripts cleaned it up as "Medvedev -- whatever.") Or recall the guffawing last September after a draft of President Bush's speech before the United Nations was found that included the phonetic spellings of several names of foreign countries and leaders. Among them: Harare (hah-RAR-ray) and Mugabe (moo-GAH-bee).

At a time when the United States is trying to improve its image abroad, mangling the names of foreign dignitaries does not help. Nowhere is this issue more sensitive than at the United Nations, where diplomats view the mispronunciation of names as a subtle if passive-aggressive form of U.N. bashing.

Couldn't agree more. The Clinton-Medvedev incident, in particular, was absolutely pathetic (mostly because I like to hope imagine pretend that Democrats are above that kind of petty ridiculousness). The one thing I would add, though, is that it's not just about U.N. bashing; they do it domestically, too. "Barack" is not the same word as "barrack," Pat Buchanan.