Debate Bests!

Best Ridiculousness, Bush: "I guess you'd say, uh... I'm a good steward of the land." Oh, the chuckles. Yes, Dubya, you're practically President Johnny Appleseed.

Best Ridiculousness, Kerry: The four and a half minutes he spent gesturing to his neck and saying "ub... ub... ubb..." while searching for the word "paraplegic."

Best Good Line, Bush: N/A

Best Good Line, Kerry: "The military’s job is to win the war. The president’s job is to win the peace." Very nicely done.

Best Ridiculousness, Bush (Part II): "So, no, I’ll have no litmus test [for Court nominees], except for how they interpret the Constitution." Isn’t that a lot like saying, "I didn’t eat any breakfast, except for that omelet, and the English muffin, and the bagel, and the fruit, and the orange juice"?

Overall, I'd call this one a tie, with a lean toward Kerry that may or may not be the result of my personal biases. Either way, I don't think either candidate walked away with it. Bush, as loathe as I am to say it, seemed a bit more likable than last time, and that's no good for anyone (except, maybe, you know... Bush).

And we thought Dan Rather was bad.

An internal memo written by ABCNEWS Political Director Mark Halperin admonishes ABC staff: During coverage of Democrat Kerry and Republican Bush not to "reflexively and artificially hold both sides 'equally' accountable."

The controversial internal memo, obtained by DRUDGE, captures Halperin stating how "Kerry distorts, takes out of context, and mistakes all the time, but these are not central to his efforts to win."

But Halperin claims that Bush is hoping to "win the election by destroying Senator Kerry at least partly through distortions."

"The current Bush attacks on Kerry involve distortions and taking things out of context in a way that goes beyond what Kerry has done," Halperin writes.

Time's new poll puts Kerry ahead of Bush in likability. How's that for a flip-flop?

(On the other hand, according to "the premier dating service for busy professionals," more people would rather date Bush (49%) than Kerry (33%) or Nader (15%).)

To our loyal and trusty readership: This blog will never stoop to these levels.

"Blogs probably pretty accurately reflect the level of polarization and paranoia and frustration among everyday Americans that the entire campaign reflects," said Vanity Fair media critic Michael Wolff, characterizing the new form of overtly-biased journalism as "the voice of the mob."

And ahead of Friday's second debate between Bush and Kerry, the Internet was abuzz with gossip that the president wore a listening device during last week's debate allowing an unseen puppet master to whisper cues and tips in his ear.

OK, maybe we will stoop that low.

A pretty decent electoral vote map, using regularly-updated polls. Current score: Kerry 280, Bush 239.

(It's also worth noting that in the Hotline's White House Scoreboard, Kerry's now up for the first time in months, leading 245-218.)

JibJab (of "This Land is Your Land"-fame) launches another political groupsing: It's Good to Be in DC.

You know what the say about sequels... (Except 2 Fast 2 Furious, which was 2wice the excitement!)

What's the most foolproof way to ensure that Bush doesn't get enough votes to win?

Absentee voters who have already received their ballots for the November election may have noticed a little something missing from their choices of candidates for president: President Bush and Vice President Cheney.

An oversight in printing left the Republican incumbents off of the ballots, some of which have already been sent out to absentee voters.

The Oklahoma tourism bureau, setting a standard that will reign for years to come, has produced the crappiest (ho!) travel brochure ever:

Oklahoma tourism officials have recalled about 200,000 brochures with images of activities that may have seemed uninviting to some travelers, such as cow manure tossing and re-enacting Confederate battles, officials said on Wednesday.

The pamphlet, called 2005 Annual Events Guide, featured events and activities throughout Oklahoma. It was also riddled with spelling, grammatical and factual mistakes.

Michael Moore, in an apparent attempt to convince people that he's not as creepy as he seems, hands out... free underwear?

I tell them that I may have been the original slacker, and that I do not want them to change their slacker ways. Keep sleeping 'til noon! Keep drinking beer! Stay on the sofa and watch as much TV as possible! But, please, just for me, on 11/2, I want you to leave the house and give voting a try -- just this once. The stakes this time are just too high.

If they promise me that they'll do this, I give the guys a 3-pack of new Fruit of the Loom underwear, and the women get a day's supply of Ramen noodles, the sustenance of slackers everywhere.

Seems Theresa Heinz Kerry was a TV Nazi of the utmost severity, putting even my mom to shame:

"I was a witch with my children, truly, about television," she said. She allowed them just 30 minutes of educational television a day and required them to write a one-paragraph report on why they liked the program.

Laces out! Laces out!

The Persian menace who now sits in prison.

"From Saddam's viewpoint, the Persian menace loomed large and was a challenge to his place in history," the report says.

"This was an important motivation in his views on WMD — especially as it became obvious that Iran was pursuing the very capabilities he was denied," said the report, which found no evidence that Iraq had produced any such weapons after 1991.